Paw buddies <3
this is the best photoset i have ever made tbh
more daft punk penny
- Who steals socks out of the laundry?
Crowley. Not out of his own laundry, mind you. But he takes a pure and pristine delight in stealing one sock out of every laundry basket in the entirety of Britain. The sheer spite and annoyance fills him with demonic glee.
Aziraphale feels this is all a little juvenile, but he supposes all the teleportation is good exercise.
- Who actually vacuums behind the couch?
Aziraphale, until Crowley distracts him with blowjobs. (Lust! Also sloth! He really does not understand why Below hasn’t given him a commendation.)
- How do they handle house guests?
When they have human house guests, they play a game called “tempt or thwart.” Every sin they commit, Crowley gets a point; every good deed they do, Aziraphale gets a point. This game inevitably descends into an argument about whether X counts as a sin, resulting in catechisms, Bibles, and books of theology flying every which way as the bewildered house guests go “…I’ll just show myself to the lavatory then…”
When they have angelic or demonic house guests… well, they don’t talk about the angelic or demonic house guests.
- Who cheats outrageously at board games?
Crowley feels like, as a demon, it is his duty to cheat whenever possible. Aziraphale calls him on stealing money from the bank in Monopoly (“really, Crowley”), then discreetly puts a hotel on Park Place when Crowley isn’t looking.
- Who’s more likely to start a home improvement or fix-it project and accidentally make everything worse?
Aziraphale: I don’t understand what went wrong! I learned how to do this from that nice Mr. da Vinci only a few hundred years ago! They cannot have changed architecture already!
- Who uses the last of the toilet paper and forgets to change the roll?
It never occurs to Crowley that they would run out of toilet paper, and so they don’t.
- What happens when one of them gets the flu?
Crowley used to miracle away any flus, until he discovered how solicitous Aziraphale is when Crowley got a cold. Since then, he enjoys lying in bed being fed chicken soup, having his temperature taken, and consuming tincture of laudanum, which Aziraphale swears by for its salutary effects on the common cold. (Crowley is not entirely sure where Aziraphale gets tincture of laudanum in the modern era, and is not going to ask.)
Aziraphale feels like he is probably supposed to get flus in order to Offer Up His Suffering To The Lord and Connect To The Human Experience and so on, but he can’t bear to sneeze on the books, so he… discreetly makes sure they don’t happen.
- What happens when the sink won’t stop dripping?
Aziraphale tries to fix it until Crowley goes “really, angel” and wishes the drip away.
- Who’s the better cook?
Aziraphale took it upon himself to Master the Art of French Cooking a few decades back, and ever since then occasionally produces a six-course monstrosity which exhausts him too much to cook for the next year. The only Art Crowley has mastered is the Art of Ordering Takeout.
- Who’s more likely to break something fragile?
Crowley. On purpose.
- Rainy Saturday afternoon and everybody’s at home together. What do they do?
Get wicked drunk and continue one of their comfortable old arguments, such as Which Leek Place In Sodom Was The Best Leek Place, Whether Aziraphale Had Actually Stepped On Crowley’s Foot Back In 404 BC And Ought To Apologize, and Whether St. Paul Was One Of Ours Or One Of Yours.
When I grow up I want to be Ming-Na Wen.
She’s the voice of Mulan, as if she wasn’t amazing enough.
She broke it with her fingers. Not a fist, her fingers.
Girl is 50 years old.
FIFTY. YEARS. OLD.
fun fact: When you break things with your hands like that you have t break your knuckles on purpose before so that they heal stronger. So basically this woman is so badass she broke her hands just to do this.
I did Tae Kwon do for a few years, I could do both, breaking stuff with my fingers/the edge of my hand and with my heel. You don’t have to break your knuckles for that.
•go to the bathroom to escape
•feel very uncomfortable without a phone or some other crutch
•dwell on a small awkward moment for much longer than necessary
•never go to any social event without a person that makes you feel comfortable
•follow said person way too much
•worry about the person beginning to find you obnoxious
•faking an illness to get out of a social event
•Dont buy something necessary because the cashier is intimidating.